When I was in Junior Three (Form Three for government secondary school), I helped out in this religion camp which meant for young Buddhist children. I participated as one of the group leaders. There was this thing that really impressed me. Everytime when we were having meals, the organizers would lead us to make prayers. After that, they would recite these short phrases to remind us not to waste the food. And it keeps me stick to this habit of finish everything on my plate until now.
I can’t remember it now. But it something like if we do good deeds, we will accumulate good karma for ourselves, our parents etc. And not wasting food is a good start. So I have follow the practice since then because I believe that MY PARENTS will benefit from it. You see, I don’t know why I was so keen on this at that time when I learned that my actions of not wasting food can actually bring good karma to my parents. But my parents are my everything. Literally. I will do anything to make sure they have good health and happy life.
I used to hate my mother a lot when I was a teenage. I hated the way she communicates with us. I hated her for not being understanding and not sensitive of our feelings and thoughts. Where everything was about her. The relationship between my mother and my father was not very good too back then. So I avoided to become a rebellious daughter even deep down inside I was one. I was struggling a lot. If it was hard for me, I bet it was too for my siblings. Well, my brother hardly hold on to his rage on our parents. There were lots of fights and things really bad that time. And I kept on telling myself that I will not put additional burden on my parents. In turn of that, I had to take everything from my parents without showing my frustrations on them. I used to conceal my feelings that I cried everytime when I felt depressed. My mother used to judge me like how she judged anyone else before knowing them. There were misunderstandings and I never said anything to against her. Because she is my mother and I didn’t want to repay her with bad karma for all the good things she done for me when I was still a child. And I certainly dont want my children to treat me the same way if I did mistreat my parents. Simply because I believe in karma. If I do bad things to other people, in return other ppl will do bad things to me too. That’s why I always hold on to this belief which if I treat others nice, they will treat me nice as well. Although life is not that simple and naive, I still hold on to this belief.
My father was a very bad tempered person back then. When my parents were having arguments, my father used to raise up his voice and shouted at my mother. For this particular reason, I hated talking to my father. I used to hide myself at the stairs and covered up my ears with my hands crying when my father was shouting at my mother. Now it suddenly refreshes my memory how paranoid I used to be towards shouts. I hated him for not being gentle enough to my mother. For being so stubborn and ruined everybody’s mood all the time. But as I grow up, I have slowly realized what my father has done to my family is infinite. His efforts and hard work have gave us a secure environment. Starting from Senior Two (Form five), my father had been telling me what had actually happened all these years within our family and between my parents. From him, I have learned that my mother was not supportive as a wife when my father was having a hard time in his career. He was facing bankruptcy and my mother used to look down at him. Not forgetting, the family of my mother’s side as well. My dad told me that he learned in a hard way of what kind of person my mother really was. It gaves me heartache to find out what my mother had did to him where he needed her the most during the down period of his career.
Anyway, everything turns better now. And my father has always been my role model. His strong determination and disciplined personalities had altered and improved our financial condition. All the things I have now are earned by my father’s hard work. I have learned that all the things I have now including my education fees are supported by him while my mother never gives a single penny. My father told me this so that I know all the things I have now is because he has saved money for us especially our education since we were young. He wants me to appreciate the importance of saving. That’s why I have always try not to spend so much because all these money are hard earned money by my father alone although now he can afford to buy luxurious products for us. But I dont want to take that for granted. What if one day I spend too much money and bring bad karma to my father?
Ok, this is way too long than I have expected. Anyway, just want to say I really appreciate everything that I have now. I dont have to worry about money because I get good karma from my father. So I will not simply spend money and bring bad karma to my father in return.
