Other than studyingJanuary 2, 2006 9:11 pm

I just finished reading The Devil and Miss Prym by Paulo Coelho. My dad gave me this book. It’s really inspiring. It makes you think whether humans are essentially evil or otherwise. When it comes to a moment where people face questions of life, death and power, they will have to choose their own path. The question arises : Will they choose good or evil?

I like the short stories about the history of Viscos, a village where the plot takes place. One of my favourite is this:

    The majority of the early inhabitants in this village were bandits. Ahab, who was the wickedest among all, abandoned his life of crime and set about transforming the region. Even though he was converted to Christianity, had serious reservations about the influence of priests. He thought that all the priests would do, with their threats of eternal damnation, would be to send the bandits to their criminal ways. Thus, he instituted something he had learned from the Jews - a Day of Atonement - except that he determined to establish a ritual of his own making.

    Once a year, the inhabitants shut themselves up in their houses, made two lists, turned to face the highest mountain and then raised their first list to the heavens.

    “Here, Lord, are all the sins I have committed against you.” they said, reading the account of all the sins they had done such as business swindles, adulteries, and others. “I have sinned and beg forgiveness for having offended You so greatly.”

    Then the inhabitants immediately pulled the second list out of their pocket and, still facing the same mountain, they held that one up to the skies too. And they said, “And here, Lord, is a list of all Your sins against me: You made me work harder than necessary, my daughter fell ill despite all my prayers, i was robbed when I was trying to be honest, I suffered more than was fair.”

    After reading out the second list, they ended the ritual with: “I have been unjust towards You and You have been unjust towards me. However, since today is the Day of Atonement, You will forget my faults and I will forget Yours, and we can carry on together for another year.”

“Forgive an implacable God who is constantly creating and destroying.” Such a brilliant writer, don’t you think so? It’s a must-read book. It was so well-written and well-structured. It’s really impressive how he delivered different theories and philosophies to let the readers see that Good and Evil exist together. It’s all matter of control and choice.

EDITED: I also like how the Devil explained his existence to the man: “…If you really want an explanation, you can tell yourself that I am God’s way of punishing himself for having decided, in an idle moment, to create the Universe.”

Something like love 4:29 am

I dunno la. Just now when he was online, I msged him. Then his response was normal la. But dunno why I felt that he was like so sien talking to me. Then I questioned him what he was doing. Then he said he was chatting. So I said, “got many topics to chat with other ppl but nothing to chat with me la?”. I think he get annoyed and said why I had such thinking. Hello? He blocked me before!!! Can’t blame me for thinking that I might be disturbing him or annoying him right? I mean, everytime he was the one who msged me first. That’s why I really don’t understand why he had to block me. I never talked much to him online also!! He thought I was saying he supposed to msg me everytime he sees me online. NOOOO!!! I wasn’t mean it that way. Stupid. Then he just said he was tired and want to sleep. Sleep la sleep la. Bleh.

I dunno la. Very lost now. Coz I can sense something inside me is trying to provoke his emotions. Sigh. It’s like I try to provoke an argument with him everytime I talk to him or see him. I’m asking for more! I want him! To make things worse, I feel even terrible and angry thinking I am not in a position to question him about anything at the first place. Sei mou?

I hate this so much. When I am resisting hard from thinking about him, then he keep on showing up or coming towards me. Then when I stop resisting, he is away from me again. That’s why I said already la, must stop seeing him already. Why why why he has to come and ask me out all the time?? I can’t resist long enough to drive him away! Then I become greedy and wanting more from him! Urgh!!

I feel so used by him. Dammit!!!!!!!