I’ve been catching up with a friend quite often lately. He used to have more-than-friends feeling towards me back then. But things didnt really work out and we kinda stop contact with each other for quite sometime.

I like him. As in he is a nice guy. We can talk about anything. We can really TALK about things. We share our opinions and interests. It’s really comfortable just talking to him.

I asked, “What song will you choose as a dedication for me?”
“Gwen Stefani - Cool.” He said.

Straight away there’s this feeling emerged. It’s like a mutual understanding between us. It’s like ‘Ahhhh… I understand’.

    It’s hard to remember how it felt before
    Now I found the love of my life
    Passes things, get more comfortable
    Everything is going right

    And after all the obstacles
    It’s good to see you now with someone else
    And it’s such a miracle that you and me are still good friends
    After all that we’ve been through
    I know we’re cool
    I know we’re cool

    We used to think it was impossible
    Now you call me by my new last name
    Memories seem like so long ago
    Time always kills the pain

    Remember Harbor Boulevard
    The dreaming days where the mess was made
    Look how all the kids have grown, oh
    We have changed but we’re still the same
    After all that we’ve been through
    I know we’re cool
    I know we’re cool

    Yeah, I know we’re cool

    And I’ll be happy for you
    If you can be happy for me
    Circles and triangles
    And now we’re hanging out with your new girlfriend
    So far from where we’ve been
    I know we’re cool
    I know we’re cool

“If it was back then, I would say 3 doors down - here without you.” He added.

    A hundred days have made me older
    Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
    A thousand lies have made me colder
    And I don’t think I can look at this the same
    But all the miles that separate
    They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

    I’m here without you baby
    But you’re still on my lonely mind
    I think about you baby
    And I dream about you all the time
    I’m here without you baby
    But you’re still with me in my dreams
    And tonight
    It’s only you and me

    The miles just keep rolling
    As the people leave their way to say hello
    I’ve heard this life is overrated
    But I hope that it gets better as we go

He is a friend. A very different friend. And I like him a lot.

Things might be different if my answer was different back then. I used to wonder that.

But no use of keep turning back, right? We, human must look forward. That’s what we do to keep ourself sane.

It’s weird. There’s a feeling of lost. In the sense that I’m not the special one anymore. To him.

Selfish? I know. Lol.

But I miss his shoulder. And his hug. Which I cried on it once.

Now is the moment where you normally will curse like hell for making the wrong choice.