Documentary of Charleybean

You are 14 now and we were laughing at what you might be wishing for before you blew your candles.

Mom: Hmmm, let me see… little penguin become big penguin?
me: with LONG LEGS!
sis: *stares* *stares* *stares*

You almost cut the cake before blowing the candles. Blurness.

Ahhh… I just love your cuteness so much! Your inability to react towards my teases against you is going to make me miss you even more!!

I still remember when we were having steamboat with parents and aunties for dinner just now, you asked me does grandma likes to eat prawns.

I was like, “(knocks sis’s head) Where were you? Was it someone from Mars sitting beside me just now? They (my aunties) just mentioned that she likes it few minutes ago!”

Then, you went, “Oh really? Oh… oh……”

I love the feeling of doing things together with you. It always means there’s another silly but happy moment with you. Always, I just can’t angry at you when you are wrong and ended up laughing together with you. I like the feeling of seeing you asking me for favors carefully but deep down inside, you are very clear that I will do anything that I can for you. The mutual feelings we share are wonderful. You never angry at me even though I scolded you so many times as if I was fulfilling the two years quotas when I was away from you. Pls understand that I wasn’t. You are just too careless and irresponsible at times that I can’t stop worrying about you.

Take care of mom. Be more alert.

Remember our deal ok? Write to me.

Happy birthday, my only and favourite sister!

Coz couldn’t get through the phone just now.

But I managed to get through in the end.

I’m singing out loud Beatles - No reply now.

“I nearly die…… I nearly die……”

You know why?

coz the rain has stopped and rainbow is out and…

I PASSED MY EXAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’m happily singing and shouting and jumping in the house in extreme joy!!! I’m alone in the house, you see. Well, I don’t know about the neighbours.

But who cares about the neighbours when I passed my exams???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*shouts YES YES YES YES YES YES*

*sings heroically “I nearly die…… I nearly die……“*

*wipes tears*

*hugs pillow and sleeps like a bear*

The game was simple, it went like this:

If you comment on this post, I will…

1. respond with something random about you.
2. challenge you to try something.
3. pick a color that I associate with you.
4. tell you something I like about you.
5. tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you.
8. pick a song that reminds me of you.

This is what Merv wrote about me:
1. I lurve your nick and I especially lurve Lazy!
2. I challenge you to eat Sago worms! Not sure if they eat that there in Sabah hehe
3. White because you’re real honest and frank in your posts.
4. I like your blog. Any personal blog I keep going back to has to be good! Lol
5. My first memory of you would be seeing your blog listed on SARAWho and going, “That’s an interesting blog title.”
6. Cat!
7. What exactly is it you’re studying in Kay El?
8. Soak up the Sun - Sheryl Crow

Er, nope! You dont have to comment actually. I’m just reposting the meme because he asked for it. So there you go!

We were sorting out our old junks the other day. I found my favourite Walt Disney comic book which I remember treasured it a lot when I was young. But we were sending our old stories books to recycle so my comic book is now sealed inside a box and that’s bye bye forever. Then, to my surprise, I found my collection of letter-writing papers! I almost forgot that I used to collect them.

I used to write to my pen pals and that’s how I started collecting different designs of papers and nice envelopes that came along with the papers. But I didn’t finish using all my papers as now I only write to one and mostly with postcards. Then while I was arranging my collection into a new folder, I realize that actually I do have a lot of letter-writing papers and some are still new. So I encouraged my sister to write since it will be wasted to not use those papers. Somehow it turns out to the idea of we writing to each other after I go back to KL. It’s an interesting thing to do between sisters and I’m looking forward to it.

I used to collect stamps and first day covers as well. I stopped after I left to KL and my sister takes up the hobby. Besides that, I found my old diaries that I shared with my best friends. We took turns and wrote about anything. There were three of us and we read each other’s bad days, talked about boys, bitched about arrogant top ten students in our class and more. It was sweet because there were encouragements as well.

I have three diaries with me and I wonder how many are there my other two friends keeping. I don’t remember anymore how many diaries we wrote.

Like it or not, I have to remove the milkshake lady coz she’s damn annoying. I can’t adjust her to the perfect size that perfectly fits into the page. Until I find something really nice, I’ll stick with this pale theme for a while.

It’s 2.10am, Sunday morning.

I just finished N rounds of mahjong with my mom and sis. And I won five rounds continuously. Damn syok.

Dad left the Rami in his friend’s house so we settled with the mahjong. I didn’t know how to play. So did my sister. Mom taught us and then we played for 5 hours.

So syok. We don’t even bother to tidy up the mahjong coz we are continuing tomorrow!

Mahjong damn fun la. Now only I know. But it’s never too late!

Oh yeah, when we get back the Rami tomorrow, I’m going to teach my mom and little penguin how to play it!

Just finished watching The Break-up by Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaungh. The part where he promised to go to the concert with her but in the end didn’t made me cried. It’s just so us. You never understand the point of doing things together as a couple. It’s not about doing things that I like.

You never learn to appreciate me. Vaungh in the movie reminds me of you. You just didn’t care. We are not talking to each other anymore, I think. I just don’t like the idea of you asking about my current status right after saying hello. You were acting like a jerk sometimes and you are still. It’s just funny when I wonder back then what made me think that I can change you. Silly me. So, I promise myself there will be no second time that same thing will happen again. I don’t deserve those from you.

I am serious when I said I want you to get out of my life. I just can’t help not to scrutinize every word you say, to protect myself from your favourite habit of taking advantage and taking me for granted. It’s quite sad that when I look back at our relationship, all I can think of that it was ugly. I didn’t ask for perfect but just an honest and sincere relationship. I used to think that I’m not a Virgo but I started to act like one by asking too much from you and picking out the flaws. But then, I remember I kept all that within myself and asked for an equal, healthy give and take relationship from you. I did all I could but it was only one-sided effort.

It has been a while since I last wrote about you/us. Even though it’s roughly the same thing I have wrote for god knows how many times, but I still feel this way about us until now. Hope the next one will be a longer period later or there will not be next time.

It was last night and we couldn’t sleep, so we were chatting on the bed. We talked about AIDS, diabetes, our parents, our brother, school, horoscope and etc. I was kinda shocked to hear what my sister said about me. The misconception that she has all this time while I was away.

“This past two years I thought you don’t care about us anymore and live your own life in KL. I realized I was wrong when you questioned why nobody tells you about this and that.”

But for once, I felt close with my baby sister again. Because she has the courage to say something that buried inside her heart for so long. I never know that she used to think that I was trying to keep myself away from the family.

We also talked about what we think of each other. She said that I’m a planning freak. Everything must be planned and organised the day before. She also thinks that I’m also a family person and a typical cancerian. While I mentioned that she has a totally opposite personalities to what a Virgo should has.

I was telling my sister how dangerous it is the world out there now and she said something which sounded funny to me. She said, “Might as well just die than live, so scary!”

After the talk last night, only I realized that my sister has zero general knowledge. She was saying that she is having toothache. So I asked whether is it her wisdom tooth. She was dumbfounded and went on asking what the hell is a wisdom tooth. So I spent another minute explaining to her what is a wisdom tooth after explained AIDS and diabetes.

She is 14 and I can’t believe she got first in her form last semester. My dad was also surprised when he went to school and took her academic report. The blurest, laziest and clumsiest person in the house got first place in her form. I was like, “You left your brain at school is it?”

Anyway, I still love you, Little Penguin (because she has short legs,)!! I didn’t mean to behave like what you thought I did this past two years. But, I’m glad that you understand now that it was otherwise.

Me and my parents just came back from the hospital. My mom was sent to the emergency room because of her overly low blood sugar in her body.

Yeap, she has diabetes and she scared the hell out of my dad and aunties few hours ago.

Me and my mom went to my grandma’s house to give her some freshly baked cake made by my mom. We stayed there for a while until I realized my mom was sweating badly when the rest of us were not. Slowly, things started to get worse and my mom was losing her consciousness as the clock was ticking. I called my dad who was in the middle of a football match in front of the tv and he came right after.

Before my dad came, he called us and told us to feed my mom some sugar. This was not the first time so my dad knows how to deal with such situation. So we did as he told but my mom didn’t seem to get better. When my dad arrived, however, she was getting better and so we waited for the sugar to take effect while observing her condition at the same time.

Around 20 minutes, my dad got worried as my mom still sweating cold and remained half conscious. So, he left for doctor. He called us 20 minutes later saying that the emergency room was very busy and we need to send her to the hospital. So, he came back and we hurried to the hospital. By that time, my mom was in a serious condition as one of the symptoms, biting her own tongue, is shown. I had to put my finger into her mouth to keep the tongue inside. My mom lost her consciousness.

Reached the emergency room, her blood sugar was checked to be 1.8 against the normal point, 5.8 (I think?). So the doctor just needed to inject glucose into her blood. Everything is stable and cool. So my aunties whom came along left after talked to my regained-consciousness mom. It was 12.30am. My dad and me stayed with my mom.

We talked and joked about what happened. My mom normally just took injection once a day in the morning. She told us that because she ate some of her cake and worried that her blood sugar would get high so she took a night injection. Anyway, things are fine again. My dad was looking at the glucose pack/bag and said, “Let’s just tell the nurse that you bring the whole bag home and drink it. It’s even faster than waiting it dripping drop by drop.” Me and my mom couldn’t help but chuckled even though there are patients resting in the quiet room.

An hour later, finally the doctors were not busy anymore and dismissed my mom after making sure her blood sugar is back to normal. When we were about to leave the hospital, only we realized we left my mom’s sandal at my grandma’s house.

By the time we reached home, it was 1.30am and my sister was waiting and opened the door for us. When I saw my sister at the door, I had this feeling. It was warm and familiar. Like everything is safe and sound now. My mom is ok and back home with us now.

Did I freak out during the incident? I knocked down a garbage bin in front of my grandma’s house when I was reversing my dad’s Ninja. I forgot to wear my slippers when we was about to head to hospital. I called my aunty with different name which definately not hers. No, I didn’t freak out. I was just a little bit nervous. Really.

Well, I don’t know actually. I still can think calmly and did what I should do. I guess I’m not that type of person who get paranoid and go on “OH MY GOD… OH MY god… oh my god…” while covering my face when big thing happens, like this. My emotional reaction is more sensitive toward smaller things, like speech competitions, exams and other minor things. Yes, exam is smaller compared to my mom fainted and was sent to hospital. I don’t know what’s the precise word for this type of personality. My reactions just work the other way round. I react to situations emotionally different than others. I shout or curse a lot when I’m driving alone for small things, like the driver is driving like a snail. But I’m a quiet cat when I deal with serious thing like what happened to my mom.

I still remembered few years ago when my dad had a blood clot in his brain and things were getting serious when he couldn’t see things and walk anymore. I was way too calm during the whole period and at one point, I even questioned myself for not feeling anything about it. Or this is just normal to react beyond expectation against certain situations?

Anyway, eat less sweet food. Better be cautioned than sorry, isn’t it?

Happy birthday! May you have more fun teasing me in the future!

That’s what I sms-ed to one of my best pal in the universe. I never fail to laugh whenever I’m talking to you. The unique way of your teasing against me never change through the years when the time, distance, people around us has changed.

I’m really impressed with your sensitivity and creativity especially the way you relate food with me everytime you get the chance to do so. The testimonials you gave me in friendster still are my funniest testimonials ever received.

I still remember you were the first one I looked for when I wanted a good cry back then. There was once when we were having a quick break during a class. My seat was at the first row while yours were at the last. The boyfriend back then cheated on me and I wanted to cry so badly. So I just went straight to your seat, squatted beside you, grabbed the book on your desk and covered my crying face. I still remember your reaction at that moment till now.

You never ask why first, instead you will try to cheer me up with your lame jokes about me. But you are always ready to listen anytime. You allow me to talk only when I want to. I really love the mutual understandings in our friendship.

Even though we don’t see each other that much now and so are the others, we still talk like old times whenever there’s a chance. That’s something we will never lose to TIME which we share not only between us, but also with our other best friends.

I miss you tons. And I’m not ashamed to say that even now that you have found someone special to you. Really wish that things will continuously go well between you and your current one. I know she means a lot to you and I’m glad that you are happy.

For your birthday and our 6 years (+ still counting) friendship, CHEERS!