It’s still not the right time when you asked me, “Do you love me?“.

You said,
that you want to go shopping with me, help to pick my clothes and pay my bills
that you want to go coffeebean with me and read our own novels together
that you want to go places with me, places that I want to go
that you want to bring me to a nice place for dinner
that you want to dance with me
that you want to hug me and kiss good night
that you want to watch my korean movies and dramas with me
that you willing to stop keeping in touch with your ex and stop reading her blog
that we have so many things which we have yet done
that you have realize what you actually want now
that you really regret for knowing it too late
that even if so, you will still try anything to get us back together
that you know what’s your priorities now
that DOTA is stupid
that you want to be committed with me
that you want to treat me right
that you want to love me right
that long distance relationship can actually works
that you want to spend the rest of your life with me
that you think this will be the last chance for you to do something to make things right
because you want to keep me by your side

all these, even with me keep telling you that we will not get back together anymore, you still willing to do it.

I once told a friend that we can be great couple, because of the unique feeling of comfortableness between us. Like, we can just stay together forever and ever. But things went wrong and the relationship fall apart. I don’t think that things can be right anymore.

I still very in love with the comfortableness that I found in you. But, like you said, I have shut the door to my heart and you are locked outside right now. The key used to be right in front of you but not anymore.

I feel so fragile right now. I want you. But I don’t want to get attach to you anymore. So what do I want actually?

I want to be loved. But I don’t want commitment. Or maybe I just want you to pay up the debts that you owed me.

I said, I once gave you infinity. And you said you will return infinity to me.

I still want to hug you and kiss your cheeks like I used to. To let you know that you aren’t alone. But I don’t want more than that. Or maybe I want more for myself, but not for you. Then, it will be unfair again. Where I will take you for granted like you used to.

I know I want you to love me and hold me like a precious. But I am uncertain that I can love you as much as the way I used to.

Time is cruel. Time tells you that you love me but makes you realize it too late. Time makes you can’t turn back to where we used to be and leaves you no chance. And time made me let you go, long time ago.

While Love, can’t do anything about it.