Documentary of Charleybean

it’s really weird…

how can i save myself

when everything seems alright

i want to run

but i can only wait

Can see that he’s extremely unhappy with the cone especially the color! Haha! If you manage to see clearly that the cone slowly became dirty coz the pictures are taken at different days.

He was so traumatized when I put on the cone for the first time coz he basically can’t see anything except what’s in front. So when I pat his back or touched him, he would get so tensed and walked away from whichever direction my hand was.

Lately, because of the no-ending amount of work that we have to compile with, I have totally screwed up my biological clock and mess up my life.

I don’t know how many hours exactly that I need, to be energetic the next day in classes. My previous proper schedule is messed up. I used to sleep early and wake up early for classes. 7 hours is perfect. Now, 7 hours of sleep and I am yawning away from morning till evening, right until my lectures finish. My collegemates even showed their concerns on what’s happening to me lately. But seriously, nothing major, if my studies is not taken into account. But I don’t notice any similar conditions on my collegemates. Maybe it’s me. My body can’t adapt to the sudden change. Then, this indicates that my current situation is a very drastic one. Coz seriously, I’m very adaptable to different/new people, situations, emergencies or environments.

I stop buying nescafe 3-in-1 coffee since I vowed to my new principle of sleeping and waking up early the next day for classes. Coz if I have even one last packet of nescafe in the house, I will take it for granted by sleeping at 4-5am and make full reliance on it the next morning right before I’m off to classes.

I guess now looking at my current situation, I really need the caffeine again.

And my first examination paper is 4 months away.

Just realized today.

Crazy hor.

Stupid one.

I JUST GOT LAZY CRASTRATED!

It was a very long planned decision yet no time to carry out until last Saturday.

I felt regret the moment we arrived the clinic. Damn worried and felt so heartache that my naughty baby had to suffer such pain. But when I thought of all the pee-ing and shit-ing around the house will be stop once and for all. I was like “Go ahead, doc!”.

But no doubt I was damn worried and I even questioned the doctor’s ability to handle the surgery as he was alone at the clinic. He was like “no problem!” and I was like “yeah right…”, “sure or not…”.

Because Lazy had separated testicles, so the doctor had to remove the inner testicle by making an opening (is this the right way to say it?) below his stomach. The usual castration only takes 5-10 minutes because the testicles only being removed through the back side, which somewhere near the butt hole. But because one of Lazy’s testicles was abnormally inner to the abdomen(?), so the whole process will take a longer time,1-2 hours to accurately locate the abnormal testicle and remove it.

Ok anyway, I’m not being cruel trying to take away Lazy’s machoism or masculine features/personalities/styles/whatever. It’s just that when our regular veterinarian diagnosised that Lazy had separated testicles (some phenomenon which I forgot), he advised us to get them removed as the inner one, which was nearer to the body temperature might become cancerous and Lazy will die. So after much dilly-dally, finally one year later, Lazy is now cancer risk-free.

But I have to keep an eye on him coz the stitches have yet to be removed. So must make sure he doesn’t jump or does any danger stunts. I changed his litter box to a small one and put newspaper instead of litter sand because there might be a chance the sand will stick to his wound and if that really happens, then he’s screwed.

When he first got home, he was still under the effect of anaesthetics. So I had to put him lying on newspapers coz he couldn’t urinate properly and wet one side of his body. Reminded me of my late grandpa who had similar problem coz he was on wheel chair. So sad. He’s like lying there on his urine yet he couldn’t feel or move. Just staring at me, looking blur and lost. I’m talking about Lazy, by the way.

So there’s this capsules that I have to force it down his throat twice a day. But where got cat willingly compromise with such order? So I pour out the medicine from the capsules and mix the medicine with milk and feed him. At first, it was a brilliant idea as Lazy surrenders to milk. But it was a rather stupid idea in the end as the milk caused him to produce fluid poop which we all know this phenomenon better as diarrhea. So I had to clean up the mess and it didn’t help at all when Lazy stepped on his own poop. But lucky I got newspapers all over the area for such possible situation and those newspaper came in handy in the end. See, no harm being organised, systematic and prepared. So, no more milk.

I remember last time my bunny loved milk as well. He always stole it from Lazy’s pot when I let him out to play and poor Lazy just stared at Mr. bunny from far because my dear cat was afraid of my dear bunny. Amazing, isn’t it?

Anyway, the only thing I’m worrying of currently is that Lazy might lick his wound which according to an article, it’s not good coz his tongue might have germs and causes infection on the wound. So I made this cone shaped collar using manila cards (pink color!) and stapled around his neck. He looked like a clown. But he obviously doesn’t like it and always tries to remove it by walking side by side to the wall or going through his cage door. So he managed to spoil the last one. Now he is collar-less and I’m worry.

His bells were removed before the surgery. Gonna put them up again when I remember coz I left them in my car. I have to bring Lazy back to the clinic one week after the surgery to remove stitches. But I’m going to penang. So we will see then.

Such a long post on Lazy. Major update on him. I don’t really dare to hug him yet. So scared of hurting his wound or causing the stitches to break. Ewww.

My eyes are tired and hurting. I can see legislations are floating in the air around the room.

Breaking Benjamin is awesome! Although I only heard of Diary of Jane. And I can’t stop singing it. Like a broken record player. Yea la, I know they’ve been singing for few years and I am so out for just knowing them now. Worse, I only know one song. Haha. This means that I’m not bias to anyone! I don’t support singers blindly!

What do you do when you are in a bad mood or feeling depressed? Maybe because you hate someone but you just can’t say it and that person just don’t get the hint and constantly annoys you? Or maybe because your tutor returned two assignments that you did and gave you another two new assignments again ? Or maybe because your cat rather look at his food than you? Or your cat’s bells that you hung around his neck because he looks so damn cute with it, is starting to test your patience? Or you just don’t know what to eat for dinner?

I will either:
- watch futurama to get a good laugh at how sarcastic Bender the robot is
- watch criminal minds to get more depressed
- drink milo
- drink orange juice
- eat chocolate
- sleep
- cry
- listen to songs that I addictively listen to at that moment
- still do assignments
- read the very few blogs in my bloglines list
- check is there anything to download
- clean Lazy’s shit pool and playground
- wash laundry if I really have to
- drive out to mamak for sup kambing
- play with or massage Lazy, again, if I really have to
- eat keropok leko
- drink wintermelon juice
- eat honeydew

I feel very tired mentally since college started even before the holidays ended. It’s a love and hate feeling. Deprived yet contented feeling. Empty yet occupied. So complicated.

Christmas was normal coz my beautiful trip ended up with nothing. So even though I had vowed that I would not spend it with him but in the end I did after all. We had dinner with our friends and then we chilled out at a friend’s house watching The Host (a Korean horror movie which turned out damn funny and lame). Laughed and drank till 3am. Then, we went mamak and spent the next 2 hours chatting.

Met up with my highschool/bestfriends on new year eve. Everywhere in Ou was filled with long queues outside their restaurants. So we ended up dining in Secret Recipe. We were hungry and couldn’t be bother anymore with Chillies or TGIF or etcs. There was a countdown concert outside the shopping mall. I had never seen so many lala males and females before in my entire life until that night. The scene just disgusted me. There were quite a numbers of celebrities @ singers/performers invited which explains the crowd. So me being smart, decided to drive out from Ou at 11pm-ish and parked in front my friend’s house which is within walking distance from Ou. So me and my friends walked back to Ou but we just stayed by the roadside as we didn’t want to get involve with the crowd and just wanted to see the fireworks.

And of course we managed to get a very good view of the fireworks. I was damn happy coz I didn’t get stucked in the jam and reached home in less than 10 minutes. Brilliant!

While today, me and my roommates went to Times Square to get a glimpse of Gary Cao, a chinese local singer who grew up in overseas. It was a mini concert introducing his latest album - Superman. It was great as we were really near to the stage and he is excellent singing in live concert! He’s really playful and hyped up the atmosphere really well. It was really fun coz there were not that many people so we felt comfortable instead of the usual sandwiches situations. Besides, we were standing first row from the front of the stage. Initially, there were camera men and reporters standing in front of us blocking our views, but because each of the reporters were blocking other reporters, so every one of them were moving around looking for better spots, while we finally got back our best seats in the house.

On the other note, there’s this photographer from taiwan looks really attractive. He’s the mature/cool/handsome looking type of guy. Especially his short beard! Because the concert was delayed and while waiting, me and my roommates couldn’t help but looked at him most of the time as he was standing inches away in front of us. I think he looks a bit like Andy Lau. We even took his pics secretly! It’s been quite a long time since I last since a truly handsome guy. He made my heart beat so fast! My roommate told me that he overheard us and gave a shy smile. So cute!

To be honest, I feel a wee bit disappointed on how I ended up spending my two festive weekends. I think that’s why I wasn’t in the festive mood at all. So what if it’s christmas or new year? I wasn’t really spending this two supposedly special days with people I want and the way I want it. The worst part was I didn’t even know who I want to spend it with and how I want it to be. And definately, he wasn’t really the person I want to spend the festive seasons with. He didn’t bother to surprise me or putting effort in planning something nice. But neither did I. So I shouldn’t be complaining isn’t it? But again, where are all the enthusiasm of him when he said he wants to give me more and treat me right?

I feel really uneventful on my two weeks holidays. The only thing that makes me proud of myself and feel better about it is the assignments that I completed in this two weeks. Although it still far from the goal I set for myself at the beginning, at least I got myself to start. Not like the usual predictable scenarios where I would plan what I want to achieve during my holidays and ended up with nothing achieved. So doing work and studying actually consoles my lost soul.

*Silence*

Oh my god, what did I just said?!

Anyway, Happy New Year to me and you! May all of us set our priorities right this year!